i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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