I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
