now i know why i became what i already was.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
