Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
