Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
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