I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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