I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
How naked do you want me to be?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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