North Korea, Best Korea!
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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