I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
