Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
