Ambien. No doubt about it.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
