no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
