My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
i've created a new STD.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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