Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
