1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
PANTIES FOUND
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