Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
