Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
