You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
