it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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