OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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