Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
