do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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