he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
