Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
