Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
