oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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