You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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