my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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