I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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