Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
