I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
