This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
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