we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
