Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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