I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
