No awkward lesbian experiences without me
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
