weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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