wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
PANTIES FOUND
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