Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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