I love black thongs
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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