And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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