Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
