I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
