to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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