Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL