Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
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She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
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I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on