I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor