note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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