peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Houston, we have a blender
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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