you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
