Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
