There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
