I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
