tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Watching her eat just hurts me
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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