remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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