I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
