If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
i've created a new STD.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
