My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
