Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
