Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
