I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
