Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
