You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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